I don’t know about you, but when I think back a few months to March, I’m pained at the memory of naively thinking everyone would have to just quarantine for 2 weeks and then the world would go back to normal. Now, here we are, 5 months later, and everything is still crazy. Though some businesses and workplaces are slowly opening back up, everyone seems to still be on edge. It seems like almost everyone is scared or angry or a fun combination of both, which honestly makes me want to dig in and keep quarantining until it’s all over.
Yesterday, I thought I’d play around with paint again as a way to help me process what I’m feeling. I expected the result to be a variety of grey shades mixed with blotches of darkness, which is pretty typical for me. But for some reason, I kept grabbing more and more color. I realized that while my emotions are a bit chaotic and are overlapping in strange ways, this is still an exciting new season for me. I’ve been letting go of things and people that no longer fit in my life, and in some ways, the pandemic has been a bit cleansing. It’s allowed me to spend a lot of alone time with myself where I’ve been learning who I am without worrying about the performance version of me that the world has been seeing. I am so ready for the pandemic to be over so that I can start to emerge more authentically, and I wanted to share yesterday’s painting since it reminded me of this future.